Thursday, September 3, 2015

A Week of Weak Prayers

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And he peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

This has been a very powerful passage for me these last 7 days. Last Thursday, my wonderfully selfless mother in law left and I was alone with all four kids for the first time. I was afraid, worried, anxious and scared things were going to fall apart at the seam. I was terrified I wouldn't be able to handle the boys, the house, and the girls. My biggest downfall is my insane ability to worry. I worry about the littlest things even though I know my Savior is taking care of me.

Prayer has been, and will always be, my constant life line. I'm not as diligent as I should be and there is always room for more prayer in my life. This week has proved time and again what prayer can do. Jessie and I pray together every night before going to sleep and it always seems to make the night with the girls and the next day a little better. 

This week my prayers have been full of "help me" and "give me" phrases as well as many "thank you" ones. I've needed a lot of help this week but it wasn't the physical type of help one would assume. The help I needed was with an inward struggle. A fierce battle I fight every day. I am constantly doubting myself and my abilities. How am I supposed to feed and care for newborn twins, play with my four year old, potty train my two year, tend to all the house chores, cook the food and still have the energy to spend time with my husband? Juggling four kids ages four and under, a house and a husband is difficult but I can't imagine how difficult it would be without a life line to God.  

With all that being said, here is the truth: My week alone at home with all four little rugrats hasn't been too horrible. It hasn't been a cake walk either. I probably sound insane but so far it has been much easier having all four kids than it was when my second was born. He ate all the time, cried all the time and never slept. We were living in a small two bedroom apartment and I was going through some post pardon blues. Now, we are in a lovely house, the girls are on a great schedule and my hormones are quite stable! I believe all of this is because of God. He knows what our family can handle and has placed in our care the most wonderful children. We are not perfect, far from it actually. God doesn't expect us to be perfect. He expects us to stumble, fall and then reach out our hands for him to catch us. Thankfully, he always does!

The boys will be at my parent's this weekend and my goal while they are gone is to prayer over them several times a day. We pray at meals with the boys and we pray with them before bed but I want them to be able to talk to God anytime they want. Not let prayer be a ritual before meals or bedtime. I believe the best way to teach them to pray is to show them. I want my kids to have a constant life line and use it whenever they need. While they are gone it will be easier to start making a "habit" of praying for them during the day. When they return we can pray together for each other, our choices throughout the day, people we love or know who are having a hard time and our attitude over all. 

My biggest prayer of all is that my kids have a relationship with Christ that outweighs all others. 

In Him,

Angie K

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