Just Roll With It

Lately I have had a lot of people, mostly strangers make comments to me when they learn that I have a four year, a two year old and twin infant girls. Here are just a few:

"Wow, you are crazy girl!" 
"You really have your hands full, huh!"
 "I bet they keep you busy!" 
and my all time favorite:
 "Uh-uh" (while they shake their head with eyebrows raised). 

Maybe I'm just used to it all by now and we've gotten a pretty good routine down or I'm not seeing what everybody else is seeing. My life was busy before the twins and it hasn't been that much more busy. My hands are always full with a two year old but I've gotten pretty good at juggling. Yes, I am crazy for having identical twins but here is the twist: identical twins are spontaneous therefore we didn't plan to have twins.

On the flip side of things, I can't tell you how many times people go on and on about how impressed they are or that I'm amazing or how they strive to be like me. It is very flattering but also extremely awkward because, again, I don't see what they are seeing!!
I see a messy house, piles of laundry, dried spit up on shirts, unwashed hair, unbathed children and a sleepy momma. I love getting the compliments but I never have a good response it seems! I just smile and say something like, "Oh, no,  but thank you". I know people are being genuine in their comments both positive and negative but I don't think they fully understand our life right now. I may show up on time, dressed with make up on and look put together but they are not "behind the scenes" to it all!

Today I had my Mom2Mom fellowship. I mentioned in passing to them that I would take a picture of my house as soon as I got home to show them that I, in fact, do not have it all together. Mom2Mom meets every Wednesday from 10am-12pm and then we have lunch together until 1:00. I have to leave my house by 9:00am in order to get to our church building, unload the kids (lunches, backpacks, stroller and car seats), get them checked in and to their rooms by 9:45. Did I also mention it was trash day? Thankfully, Jessie got the trash can to the curb this morning for me but I of course did not empty the bathroom trash cans...

Wednesdays have become my "Wild and Wacked Out Wednesday" because it is utter chaos trying to get ready to leave for M2M. The pictures I took are after getting home and unloading the car (back packs, lunch boxes and twin's car seats). We left breakfast on the top of the table and stove, dishes in sink (dishwasher was full and clean but I hadn't had time to unload), unwashed bottles in other sink and the boys destroyed the living room while I got myself and the girls ready. They had pulled everything out in the playroom yesterday but we never got to cleaning it up. Oh, I had also done laundry last night but didn't want to wake boys to put things away and of course didn't have time this morning. 

Wednesdays are always crazy and insane.    I hardly get anything done until later in the afternoon and boys rarely nap. Today was much different! They stayed in their room, withe the iPad, the girls slept and I was able to get a lot of things picked up and cleaned. The house did not stay messy for long and it is usually in a much better state than the pictures show, except on Wednesdays!

In our small group at M2M we were asked a question, and I don't remember the exact wording, about how we would describe how we handle things right now (I think that was the question?). Anyway, my answer was this:

Just Roll With It

Life is full of crashing wave and winding roads. If you fight too hard you will get worn out and eventually pulled under. If you try too hard to make things go your exact way you will end up crashing and burning. Give it all over to God and just roll with life. As you can tell I am far from perfect. God doesn't expect perfection so why should I, as a human being, expect it from myself? All we can do is our best! I am human. I am mom of four kids ages 4 and under. I can not get it all done and that is a fact of life. 

From the wise words of the adorable Easton Corbin:

Baby we'll roll with it
Won't think about it too much
Baby let's just go with it
And get out of this ordinary everyday rut

We get so caught up in catching up
Trying to pay the rent trying to make a buck
That don't leave much time for time for us
And aint life too short for that


Angie K

A Practically Imperfect Pantry

"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks". -Proverbs 31:17-

This is my first blog post about a cleaning project so bear with me as I stumble through it:

While the boys are away this momma will play! By play I mean clean and get things done that couldn't be accomplished while they are at home. During this nice long weekend I decided that our pantry/laundry room needed some work! As much as I would love to transform it into a Pinterest worthy room, just a nice cleaning will have to do for now. 

Earlier in the week I had finally noticed how cluttered and messy the pantry/laundry room had become. Since the girls had been home I haven't paid much attention to it. The shelves were a disaster, the machines were messy and the floor was crunchy. Yes, crunchy, because it hadn't been swept in...a very very long time! 

First thing I did was remove everything from the floor. I swept thoroughly and then mopped like crazy. While the floor dried I watched a show with my wonderful hubby and spent some time with my girls.

After the floor had completely dried I chose the two most cluttered and unorganized shelves to deal with first: baking shelf and "catch all" shelf. I pulled everything off the shelves and put them on the dining table so I could easily see what all I had. I realized there some things that I could throw away, SOme I could repackage or place on another shelf. While doing so, I decided to make a snack corner for my boys. I put a plastic container on the bottom shelf and put items such as: applesauce squeeze pouches, granola bars and applesauce cups in it. I then grabbed some snack size ziplock baggies and filled them with goldfish crackers, pretzels, almonds and chex mix. Doing so allowed me to remove the boxes from the shelf to look more organized. 

I decided to make the left section of the bottom shelf a snack area. It includes the snack box and gallon Ziploc bags full of leftover pretzels and chex mix. In the middle  are our paper goods: plates and napkins. The right section holds all my baggies, cling wrap and foil boxes. 

The next shelf up is all of my baking supplies, breakfast foods like muffin mixes and Bisquick and then on the far right is all the breads (loaves, buns and tortillas).

Right above that is where my canned foods and other food jars are located. I left them where I had them before, just a little more organized. Cracker boxes and chips are beside them.

The second from top shelf is a bit empty right now. It currently holds rice, noodles, cereal, oatmeal and some cans of coke. Grocery shopping is on my to do list and the pantry will fill up a little more soon! The very top shelf holds my colorful Solo cups, table linens and our new waffle maker. More than likely in the next few weeks and months I will put more random items on the top shelf. 

Moving on to the washer/dryer machines. This part of the project was a little easier. The top of the machines just had clutter that I or somebody in the house was too lazy to put away properly. I straightened up the laundry shelf and cleaned off the machines. I am so happy with how it turned out!! I'm quite embarrassed with how messy and cluttered the room had gotten too! Hoping I can keep it nice and clean for a while!

 
 

A Week of Weak Prayers

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And he peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

This has been a very powerful passage for me these last 7 days. Last Thursday, my wonderfully selfless mother in law left and I was alone with all four kids for the first time. I was afraid, worried, anxious and scared things were going to fall apart at the seam. I was terrified I wouldn't be able to handle the boys, the house, and the girls. My biggest downfall is my insane ability to worry. I worry about the littlest things even though I know my Savior is taking care of me.

Prayer has been, and will always be, my constant life line. I'm not as diligent as I should be and there is always room for more prayer in my life. This week has proved time and again what prayer can do. Jessie and I pray together every night before going to sleep and it always seems to make the night with the girls and the next day a little better. 

This week my prayers have been full of "help me" and "give me" phrases as well as many "thank you" ones. I've needed a lot of help this week but it wasn't the physical type of help one would assume. The help I needed was with an inward struggle. A fierce battle I fight every day. I am constantly doubting myself and my abilities. How am I supposed to feed and care for newborn twins, play with my four year old, potty train my two year, tend to all the house chores, cook the food and still have the energy to spend time with my husband? Juggling four kids ages four and under, a house and a husband is difficult but I can't imagine how difficult it would be without a life line to God.  

With all that being said, here is the truth: My week alone at home with all four little rugrats hasn't been too horrible. It hasn't been a cake walk either. I probably sound insane but so far it has been much easier having all four kids than it was when my second was born. He ate all the time, cried all the time and never slept. We were living in a small two bedroom apartment and I was going through some post pardon blues. Now, we are in a lovely house, the girls are on a great schedule and my hormones are quite stable! I believe all of this is because of God. He knows what our family can handle and has placed in our care the most wonderful children. We are not perfect, far from it actually. God doesn't expect us to be perfect. He expects us to stumble, fall and then reach out our hands for him to catch us. Thankfully, he always does!

The boys will be at my parent's this weekend and my goal while they are gone is to prayer over them several times a day. We pray at meals with the boys and we pray with them before bed but I want them to be able to talk to God anytime they want. Not let prayer be a ritual before meals or bedtime. I believe the best way to teach them to pray is to show them. I want my kids to have a constant life line and use it whenever they need. While they are gone it will be easier to start making a "habit" of praying for them during the day. When they return we can pray together for each other, our choices throughout the day, people we love or know who are having a hard time and our attitude over all. 

My biggest prayer of all is that my kids have a relationship with Christ that outweighs all others. 

In Him,

Angie K

Finding My Beauty After Babies??

"This is not supposed to happen to me". "I've (almost) always been confident with my body but now...I can't even look at myself". "How is my husband going to find me attractive anymore if I look like this". "Why can't I look like her after having a baby". 

The list of put downs and depressing phrases I've said to myself and heard other women say go on and on. After having my first child in 2011, I had no idea what my body was going to look like afterwards. I just assumed I would be a little bigger than before pregnancy and then I would easily lose the "baby weight". I was wrong! It didn't help that I had gained 50 pounds and ate like I was eating for way more than two during the whole pregnancy! Thankfully my husband was,and still is, very complimentary and always telling me I look beautiful. Even though I didn't always believe it myself, it felt good to hear him tell me.

It took me the better part of two years to get back to the weight I was before my first pregnancy only to end up pregnant again! I wasn't happy about not losing more weight before getting pregnant again. This time I only gained the normal 35 pounds but post pregnancy was much more difficult for me because our second baby was much more difficult. I was worried the way I was feeling and acting was me not getting over the "baby blues". After almost a year of feeling ugly, depressed and down right "blah" I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. Getting on medication wasn't an exact cure all but it did give me some relief about how I was feeling. Over the next several months I was able to drop some more weight and feel better about myself. Of course as soon as I was getting to this point we are thrown the curve ball of being pregnant again! 

To me, this was the worst timing for getting pregnant. I was still over weight, we were struggling financially and I was struggling with my some of thyroid issues (depression and fatigue). To make things worse (before they got better) we found out we were having twins when I was about 9 weeks pregnant. It took me well into my 2nd trimester to make peace with having twins to be fully and completely happy about expanding our family. Which, leads me to where I am going with this post!

With our family officially complete and no more babies in our future I have decided to start a new chapter in my personal life. Not only am I going to document my weight loss but also becoming a healthier and happier woman/mom. I hope to encourage other moms/women while on this journey. I plan to post pictures of my progress not only for others but for myself as well. I do ask for prayers and kind thoughts as I set out on this new path of being a "new me and new mom". I know God will continue to give me strength each day as long as I keep looking to him for guidance. 

"With the new day comes new strengths and new thoughts" -Eleanor Roosevelt-

"But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded." - 2 Chronicles 15:7-

In Him,

Angie K

Pink and Purple Princesses

Well, it has been almost two weeks since my last post and I finally have a little bit of time to update. Happy 4 weeks to our little angels. They will be one month old on the 19th!! I can't believe it!

Both the girls are home now and doing wonderful! They had their first doctor appointment and they are perfect. Their doctor did want to order ultrasounds on the girl's hips because of their positioning in the womb. She wants to make sure there isn't a problem.

I am so proud of how well they are eating! We are still pumping and bottle feeding for now. When they are "full term" we might work on breastfeeding but for now pumping is working just fine! They are eating every 3 1/2 to 4 hours! There was one night that they didn't wake up for their feeding and they went 5 hours between feedings! I have a good feeling they will sleep through the night without any problems!!

I have to be honest right now. These two girls are actually easier right now than Logan was when he was born. I will gladly admit that the NICU stay was a blessing in disguise. The girls were on a feeding/diaper schedule while there and we have been able to carry that home with us. 

The boys are so glad to have their sisters home! Jonah absolutely loves and adores them. He is always willing to help out any way he can. He loves to look at them and kiss their heads or toes. Logan is happy to have them home but is having a little more difficult time accepting his new role as "not a baby". He is having to transition from being held and cuddled with a lot to being told "no, not right now". Logan does love his sisters and likes to kiss their heads and touch their feet/hands when he is allowed. I am excited to see the girls grow and the bond between them and the boys bloom!

We won't be getting the girls out in public until after their two month appointment in September. Doctor says it is best to let their lungs develop more before going out. With RSV and Flu season approaching in the coming months we have to be careful with them. 

I will try to find some time once a week to post an update about the girls. I can't make any promises though!

In Him,
Angie K

The End Is Near

"For this reason I kneel before the father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name". Ephesians 3:14-15

Saturday August 1st:

"No news is good news" especially when it comes to the girls right now. They are continuing to grow and do well. We will need to bring in the car seat to do the car seat test before they get the approval to go home. Today, Amelia weighed in at 4 pounds 4 ounces and Kaylee weighed in at 4 pounds 9 ounces! Growing girls back up to birth weight!

Sunday August 2nd:

Baby girls are TWO weeks old today! They are growing so nicely. Amelia is starting to fill out and look more like Kaylee. They both are eating very well. Jessie and I enjoyed spending alone time with the girls today. Of course, both the girls ate better for Jessie than me. I'm assuming they think I'm a little more cuddly and decided to fall asleep with me!  The girls have gained more weight! Kaylee is weighing 4 pounds 14 ounces and Amelia is weighing 4 pounds 7.7 ounces! I'm hoping Kaylee is well over 5 pounds before she leaves the NICU. Got a call from the NICU this afternoon and the car seat we got failed the first test. Now to find another car seat by Tuesday!

Monday August 3rd:

First, a shout out to my big guy Jonah. Happy 4th birthday Jonah Bug!!

The girls ate a big breakfast this morning! When I got there to feed them they were still very sleepy from their feeding. They started their iron and vitamin supplements today. Amelia started off eating pretty well but at the end she had an "eating episode" (stopped breathing long enough for heart rate to drop). This will keep her from going home the same day as Kaylee. Kaylee is doing well eating and sleeping and is on track to come home soon! 

Here is how the rest of the week should go if there aren't any other hiccups:
Tuesday-official car seat test
Wednesday- sleep in room for parents at hospital
Thursday-Kaylee comes home
Friday-Amelia comes home

Doctor said normally they won't even consider sending preemies home until after 35 weeks but the girls are doing so well and will be "35 weeks" August 4th.

We are so close to the end of their NICU stay! I have to be honest. I am excited but very anxious about them coming home especially since Amelia had her episode today. Please continue to pray for all of us towards the end of the week. We will be getting the boys back Friday and my mother and mother-in-law will be here to help out as well. 

In Him,
Angie K

The Race is On!

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
-Psalm 62:8-

Thursday July 30th:

Both girls got their nose tubes out! Amelia pulled hers out so they left it out and soon after Kaylee got hers taken out too! 

I did some skin to skin time with Amelia while nursing. She gave us all a scare a few times when she had some breathing pauses during breastfeeding which set off the alarms. It happened three times and the nurse suggested we give breastfeeding a break until her brain is mature enough to have the breathe, suck, swallow rhythm down better. So for now we will continue to pump and bottle feed. 

They have opposite episode set backs. Amelia has periodic breathing while she sleeps but not (usually) while she eats. Kaylee has periodic breathing when she eats but not while she sleeps. They will need to be able to self correct quickly before being sent home.

Kaylee worked real hard trying to get fingers into her mouth. She worked pretty hard until she got frustrated and happily took her pacifier. She was a bit stubborn during her feed and wanted to sleep more than eat. 

Spoke with Jason, their nurse practitioner today too. They will be getting off their caffeine supplement. It takes about 5 days for it to leave their system completely. The nurses will be watching for "episodes" while they are getting off the caffeine. After they are completely off caffeine and it is out of their system, the girls will be given a sleep study and have a car seat test. If they pass everything the next step is home!

Friday July 31st:

The girls were moved to NICU 4 this morning. It is a much small area than where they were before. Our nurse, Kathy, said "it's one foot out the door". Both girls are are eating over 40mL of milk. I'm hoping to stay ahead of them while pumping! 

Jason came by again and checked on the girls. He reassured me they wouldn't be sending the girls home too soon. Here is the "schedule" he gave us:

5 days no caffeine
5 days no sleeping episodes
3 days no feeding episodes
10 hour sleep study
90 minute carseat test
Discharge if passed everything

By the looks of it the girls could be coming home next weekend!! I'm both nervous and excited to be seeing the end of their NICU stay. Please continue to pray for the doctors, nurses, the girls and us as we prepare to transition them home!

In Him,
Angie K

Twinkle Twinkle Little Twins

I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God. 
-Deuteronomy 32:3-

Tuesday July 28th:

We have been so blessed with such wonderful nurses and doctors. I feel like family every time I walk through the NICU. I've even seen some of my maternity ward nurses and they remember my name! Even though this has been a difficult time for us, the medical staff has gone above and beyond to make this situation as easy as possible. 

Today the girls had a pretty good day! They had their first back to back bottle feedings and did well with them! Kaylee was so tired during her second feed that she had to finish her meal with the nose tube. The nurses said they may take small steps back, like finishing with the tube, but they will continue to make huge leaps forward. 

Amelia did give us a little scare today. She had a small apnea episode, after her feeding, which made her turn color. Thankfully the NICU staff is awesome and it only took a couple seconds for Amelia to wake up to breathe nicely and turn back to her beautiful pale pink self.

The doctor may increase their bottle feedings if they continue to do well! Since they are so little they need extra calories and "goodies" to fatten them up. Amelia will get two packages of milk fortifier and Kaylee will get one package of milk fortifier. Amelia is weighing 4 pounds even but I forgot to get Kaylee's weight before we left. Our poor nurse was crazy busy today! 

Wednesday July 29th:

To my surprise this morning, they started the girls on all bottle feedings! They will keep their feeding tubes for if/when they have those little steps back and need to finish with the tubes. Kaylee will now be getting 38mL (1.2 ounces) each feeding and Amelia will be getting 35mL (1.1 ounces) each feeding. They had a bath this morning and had new clothes, bedding and cute hats!

We met the occupational therapist, Lisa, today too! She gave her spill about what she does and what she watches with the girls. She discussed their sleep positions while in the NICU verses while at home. Lisa talked to us about the importance of tummy time and why its needed. 

The girls had fabulous eating times today! I wanted the girls to practice breastfeeding since we had only tried nursing twice. I was so excited when Amelia happily latched and started nursing right away! Even our nurse, Alyse, was surprised at how well she did with this being only the third attempt. Amelia went for 18 minutes before she fell asleep and pulled off! Kaylee did almost as well. She was a little hesitant to latch at first but she eventually did and nursed for 13 minutes. We nursed again during their next feeding time and they did well. Both girls seemed worn out by the time we were done for the day and I don't blame them.

They had both gained some weight since their last weigh in! Kaylee is now weighing 4 pounds 1.1 ounces and Amelia is now weighing 4 pounds 7.8 ounces. They are almost getting back to their birth weight! 

On our way out the NICU our nurse Alyse stopped us. She told me my milk supply in the freezer is overflowing and that they will let me know when to bring more breast milk. I can't tell you how happy I was to hear this. I have been very worried about my supply with twins but thankfully my body is cooperating this time and is allowing me to supply the girls with more than enough. Now I get to stock our freezer and this makes me one proud momma!

In Him,
Angie K

Little Weekend Warriors

"You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and rest in safety".
 Job 11:18

Saturday July 25th:

Girls are off of their UV lights! Their bilirubin levels are now perfect! 

 Poor Kaylee had her IV put back in her head last night. I felt so awful for her since they had to work so hard to find a good vein Friday. Thankfully they will be off their IV fluids soon and she won't have to deal with being poke and prodded again.

We practiced breastfeeding again and they both did well. Of course they were being tube fed during practice so it only took about 10-15 minutes for them to happily fall asleep! They are getting 25mL each feeding and will be moving up on their feeding amounts in the coming week. Their nurse said they are "vigorous eaters on the bottle" but are doing well pacing themselves. 

Friday night Amelia weighed 3 pounds 14 ounces and Kaylee weighed 4 pounds 5 ounces. Both girls are doing well and just need to gain some more fat and weight!

Sunday July 26th:

Jessie and I got to assist in bathing the girls this morning! They both absolutely love getting their heads washed and scrubbed. But what little girl doesn't!?! They will be "fortifying" their milk with some extra calories, fats, vitamins, etc to help them with the weight gain. The nurses will not be adding fluids to their IV bags but they haven't been given the direct order to stop the fluids and remove the IV ports. Nurse said it could be a day or two depending on how well the girls do. Probably in the next day or so their feeding amounts will increase too!

Monday July 27th:

Today we had Nurse Tammy. I absolutely love her! She is "older" than the other nurses and tells us like it is, which I like!

Amelia in new bed

I walked into the NICU and saw the girls without their IV lines and the lid on their incubators was lifted off. I couldn't help but tear up and cry some. This is a huge milestone for them and I am so proud of how well they are doing. Every nurse that has worked with them says they are big strong girls! 

I was so please to do some major skin to skin time with Amelia today. Nurse Tammy brought over one of the lounging chairs and got me to put my feet and lounge back. It was a wonderful bonding time for us. Tomorrow I will have some happy bonding time with Kaylee! 

The girl's wonderful nurse practitioner, Jason, came by while we were there. He talked about the fortified milk and what course of action they will take in the future before the girls go home. He upped their feeding amount again based on their weight. Amelia will get 34mL of milk and Kaylee will get 36mL of milk! (I've gotta keep ahead of them!)

Daddy feeding Kaylee

For the last several days their feedings have been: bottle, tube feed, bottle, tube feed, etc. Because they are doing so well their feedings will now be: bottle, bottle, tube feed, bottle,  bottle, tube feed, etc. When they do very well with those feedings and are able to complete each feeding, he will continue to lower the tube feedings and up the bottle feeds until the girls are only taking bottles.

If they continue with this progress I believe they will be coming home much sooner than we first thought. Of course there are still several factors involved and they need to gain as much weight as possible before coming home. 

We were told today that the car seats for the girls need to have a weight minimum of 4 pounds and of course the ones we have are 5 pound minimum. If this is the only little obstacle we encounter through all this craziness then I will consider us blessed!  

Kaylee in new bed

Again, we can't thank you all enough for the prayers, thoughts and words of encouragement sent our way. God is truly doing some amazing work in these little girls and his awesome power is shining through them each day!

In Him,

Angie K

Pump It Up!

                                                             **Disclaimer**
                         This contains information on breastfeeding and pumping. 

I warned you! If you aren't into all the talk and jargon that comes with breastfeeding that's okay! You can become informed or happily close the blog. Either way, it's up to you. 

"Pumping Newbie", I feel, is another title I get to add to my name as a mom. In the weeks and months to come I hope to step into the title Professional Pumper or Pumping Pro. Coming from two unhappy  breastfeeding experiences with my two other children, now ages 2 and 4, I was very worried about my supply. My worried doubled when we found out it was twins!

With my other two boys I didn't breast feed them for very long. About a month with my first one and then just shy of four months with my second. Looking back I know why we weren't able to go for very long. I will get to that later. 

Since the girls were early, a C-section, and in NICU I wasn't able to start the whole skin to skin and nursing process right away. I wanted to start pumping as soon as possible to get my supply going even though the girls would not be eating anything for 24 hours. The nurses were very positive and reminded me that it will take 3-5 days for my milk to come in. They wanted me to pump every 3 hours for 30 minutes to mimic the eating times of newborns. The first 3-4 pumping sessions were hit or miss if any colostrum came. 

Our hospital uses donor milk from the local Milk Bank to supplement with until my milk came. I happily signed the form of consent to use donor just in case they were ready to eat but I wasn't producing. 

Even after reading dozens of other blogs on breastfeeding, pumping exclusively, and keeping my supply high, I was still crazy nervous about not making enough for them. I had to remember the 3 most important things about milk supply: eat a healthy diet, don't over stress, and HYDRATE! I really do believe a strong habit of drinking water all day has helped me this time around. With my boys I didn't drink enough water during or after pregnancy and I am seeing the difference now! You should get into the habit of drinking half your body weight in ounces! (Example: Weight is 160 lbs so you should drink 80 oz of water each day.)

While I am pumping I try to hide the bottle part that is collecting the milk from my view. At times like this I believe your body can smell fear!  Each time I pump I cover up a little whether I am alone or not. This keeps me from being tempted to check how much I'm pumping every few minutes. I do my best to stay distracted and not focus on my supply.

 I have now been pumping for about a week. I have a chart that I am using to track my pump times, how long I pump and how much I produce. I am on the same schedule as the girls and pump when they are being fed. Keeping on a schedule as if I am physically feeding them is crucial. Not only does it help you keep you milk supply up but it also allows you to have a routine. This will help me tons when the girls come home from the NICU. We will be on the same schedule and it will be easier on all of us. 

To recap on some things:
1. HYDRATE HYDRATE HYDRATE
2. Eat healthy
3. Keep your stress low

Every woman is different. Every milk supply is different. Every baby is different. Listen to your body and watch your baby carefully. If pumping and breastfeeding is not for you or, like me, you have to start on formula I want you to remember one thing:

Yes, breast is best but making sure your baby is eating enough whether it be breast milk or formula is the only thing that matters. Your baby is going to love you no matter how they are fed.

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" Luke 12:25

The Twincess Story pt 3

For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. Psalm 107:9

Friday July 24:

What a fun and difficult day with the girls today. I got some skin to skin time with Kaylee during the mid-morning visit. We met their "speech therapist" later in the day. She assesses their sucking, swallowing, and breathing while they eat. While we were there in the afternoon she was working with Kaylee. She said Kaylee was doing very well coordinating her breathing, swallowing and sucking. She said Kaylee will continue to improve her pacing as she continues to use the bottle and practice on the breast. 

We weren't there for Amelia's evaluation but the speech therapist said Amelia loves her bottle. She isn't ready for a bottle while on her back but while laying on her side (as if she is breastfeeding) she does very well! She is doing great practicing breastfeeding too!

Both girls had an IV in their heads when we got there around 11ish. By the afternoon their IV's were making their faces a little swollen and the nurses decided to change them out. It was very hard to watch them pull the tape off of Kaylee's head, with all her hair, while she cried. It was even harder to watch them poke around on her (very carefully) looking for a vein. The had two other "vein specialists" come in to try. After what seemed like forever they were finally able to find a good vein. Thankfully, Amelia's veins weren't too hard to find and the specialist was able to get one pretty quickly. Taking Amelia's head IV out wasn't as bad since she slept through most of it and didn't make too much of a fuss.

It was awesome to hear the nurses say "they are acting older than their age" and "hitting all their marks". I know they still have a while to go before coming home but knowing how well they are doing keeps me thinking positive. 

The doctor increased their feeds to 25mL for each feeding time! They will probably be getting off their UV light by the next day. 

I'm so glad to see the girls continue to improve every day. I know so many people are praying for them and that is such a blessing to us. 

In Him,
Angie K

Little Girls. Big Faith

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. -Hebrews 1:11-

Thursday July 23:


Amelia and Kaylee did very well at theirs attempts to nurse today! They are happily taking the bottle and doing quite well with them. I am so proud of how well they are doing! They are continuing to progress nicely. By this evening they will both be off of their nasal oxygen tubes, their feedings upped to 20mL (0.6 ounces) and incubators down to 27 and 28 degrees Celsius.

Because Kaylee is bigger than Amelia, she is doing a little better controlling her body temp and will more than likely be out of the incubator by the end of the weekend! Amelia is not far behind and working really hard to catch up to her sister!

It's discharge day. My emotions are all over the place. I'm excited to go home but deeply saddened by the thought of leaving the girls. Knowing the girls are in excellent hands is a relief but having them 20 minutes away is going to be very hard. The drive home was emotionally painful. As we walked out of the hospital without the girls I seemed to be doing okay. I was keeping it together until I saw another mom ahead of us with her baby girl, heading to their car. I lost it as soon as I got into our car. I was an uncontrollable mess! Thankfully, I have the best husband in the world! He held my hand as we drove and let me get all my emotions out before uttering a word. All he had to do was say, "I love you." and I began to feel better. 
 **I'm sitting here typing this and starting to tear up thinking and chuckling to myself about getting emotional, again, for almost no reason at all. ** 

Not only are the girls in great hands at the hospital but we have the ultimate healer watching over them (and us). God has shown his power in so many ways this week and I know he will continue to do so! 

In Him, 
Angie K

The Twincess Story pt 2

I will apologize in advanced for a long post. I didn't have my laptop with me these last couple days so I will fill you up with information from the last couple days!

Tuesday July 21:

Kaylee had a good night Monday night. She self corrected the few sleep apnea episodes on her own without needing the nurse to rouse her. Today the girls were dressed in a onesie and a swaddling blanket! For some reason all the tubes and wires don't look so scary with her bundled up. With them being clothed the girls will be working on regulating their body temp without the assistance of the of the incubator. Right now the incubator temperature is 29-30 degrees Celsius and the goal for them is 27 degrees Celsius for at least 24 hours. The doctor upped their feeding amount from 5mL to 10mL. They will be slowly reducing their fluid intake as they increase their feeding amount. Right now they are at 21% oxygen, which is the same air we are breathing, and not needing any supplementing. We discovered they love their pacifiers which I am thrilled about! Today I was able to hold both of them, at different times, while they ate!  

I have to give a shout out to two very special ladies right now! My mom has been amazing these last few days! She has spent tireless hours at the hospital with me and plans to continue to do so. She helped me physically and emotionally during this very stressful time. My mother in law has been an absolute blessing as well. She has selflessly given up her time and energy to take care of the boys. There is absolutely no way Jessie and I could have managed without the love and care of our mothers!

Wednesday July 22:

Today's "touch time" was amazing! I was able to hold Amelia while she tried nursing. She mouthed for a little bit but din't do much. We were very pleased with how she practiced! Kaylee did very well too and both girls had their feeding tube moved from mouth to nose too! They began receiving their photo-therapy today too. Their doctor said they shouldn't need it for long since their belirueben levels weren't extremely high. All in all the girls are doing quite well! They are strong little ladies working hard to grow big and strong.

In Him,
Angie K

The Twincess Story pt 1

"Thank God for this gift, too wonderful for words." 2 Corinthians 9:15

From this post on I will be telling you all about our little girls and their new life in this world!

Here is the long version of the story from Saturday July 18th until Monday July 20th:

7pm on Saturday July 18th I started timing contractions. For two hours I contracted and decided to give the night nurse call. Apparently they were busy because it took about 30 minutes to call me back. She decided to send me to the hospital to get looked at and see what all was going on. Our boys were asleep so I told my husband to stay with them and I will drive to the hospital. If I need him to come we already had a plan in place. By this time I informed my mom, who lives about 2 hours away, what was going on.

By the time I had made it to the hospital it had been 3 hours worth of contracting but they weren't horrible ones. I got hooked up to monitors and the doctor did a preterm test on me which came back positive. I was dilated to 1.5 This means I was going to stay the night, be monitored and given meds to slow/stop the contractions. My mom and dad decided to drive down  at 12:30am. They gave me some meds which knocked me out for a little bit. When I woke up my contractions were still around but pretty strong. When they checked me again at 3:40am I was dilated to a 4 and the doctor decided since I was in labor that the girls needed to be delivered.

One hour later on Sunday July 19th at 4:47am and 4:48 am Amelia Grace and Kaylee Jo were born via C-Section. Amelia was born first weighing 4 pounds 2 ounces and 17 inches long. Kaylee Jo was breech, feet down, weighing 4 pounds 9 ounces and 17.25 inches long. They were taken to the NICU while I was put back together and take to recovery. I was unable to see them until 1:00pm Sunday since I didn't have all the feeling back into my legs/feet.When I did get to see them it was a very emotional moment for me. 
The girls are hooked up to all different wires and tubes. I wasn't able to hold them or touch them yet. I know God is going to take care of them but it was still very hard to hand them over to him.

 They are on 21% oxygen which is room oxygen. They are not having to supplement. I'm not real sure what that mean but the nurses seem really positive! Kaylee is having some sleep apnea episodes so they are giving her some caffeine to stimulate and boost her breathing and stuff. Other than that they had a really good first day and night!

Monday July 20th:
I wasn't in too much pain this morning but as the day went on and I was doing more walking I could tell the pain was going to get worse. I was able to shower and remove the bandage from my incision. Even though the shower helped me feel nice and clean this was also the most painful part of my day. I was also finally given an abdomen binder which will help keep my stomach and stuff in place while I am up and moving.

The girls are having a good day. Amelia had some sleep apnea episodes, the nurses were not surprised, so she is now getting some caffeine too! The doctor let them have a little bit of milk today; 5 mL each which is only a teaspoon. I was able to change Kaylee's diaper earlier this afternoon! This evening Jessie went down to see them when he got off work and he was able to hold them! 

As soon as I figure out how to post pictures on here I will put some up! Check back for more updates about the girl's as grow! God is good and is working in so many ways right now!

In Him,
Angie K

Triumph over Tears

"Thank God for this gift, too wonderful for words." 2 Corinthians 9:15 

This was the verse I received in my email the day we found out I was pregnant in December 2014. God has had his hand in this pregnancy from day one. I admit that when I found out I was pregnant I was not happy. I didn't want to be pregnant. It wasn't the right time for me. I didn't feel healthy or fit. We were't planning on getting pregnant for several months! It took me a few weeks to finally be "ok" with being pregnant. I knew this pregnancy was going to be different from the start. I just didn't realize HOW different!

The day I found out I was having twins was a day I will never forget. Not only was God allowing me to be pregnant but now we were going to have two! I was torn between shock and horrible fear. We are a one income family. How in the world will we be able to afford twins? What about me homeschooling Jonah in the fall for preschool? What about having to buy a bigger vehicle? Why would God do this to us? To me?

So many questions and worries ran through my mind everyday. If I had to pinpoint a major sin of mine it would be worry. I tend to worry about everything instead of handing it over to our Lord. I questioned him so many times when I should have asked him for help and handed all my burdens to him. 

I came to the point where there wasn't anything I could do to "fix" this. I had a night of crying, confessing, pleading and asking for forgiveness for my sins that finally opened my eyes. It's crazy how one major conversation with God can be a life changer. God opened my eyes and helped me see the good in his plan. 

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

What an amazing heavenly father we have! All praises to him. 

Stay tuned because my next post will be about how God continues to work in his majestic ways especially in surprising situations: the early birth of our girls!

In Him,

Angie K

Food Fighter

Good Friday Afternoon!

I was really hoping my family was going to be immune to all the "new age" food allergies, fads and diets. It doesn't look like it is going to go my way but that is okay. 

LJ has eczema. I'm sure 9 out of 10 kids have some form of eczema and it ranges from minimal to severe. LJ is somewhere in the upper middle part of the scale. I was doing some more research on ways to handle eczema outbreaks without all the steroid creams and medications. While looking into some more healthier alternatives we also noticed he did not handle certain foods very well. Specifically, he did not handle drinking milk with Nestle Strawberry Syrup. 99% of the time he would throw part of it up and 100% of the time his skin would break out. **I only realized this after all my research**

After looking over the ingredients my husband, Coder (nickname), thought it could be the Red dye they use. We decided to not give him any of the strawberry syrup and only stick to chocolate syrup. His stomach issues were better but he continued to break out in rashes. 

Since I am entering my 3rd trimester of twin pregnancy my wonderful mother came down for a week to give me slight break from the boys and house work. I mentioned the strawberry syrup to her and why we aren't offering it to LJ. 

**She is a veteran teacher and is always talking to parents about changing the diet of the children on medication for ADD/ADHD instead of popping pills all the time. 

She mentioned this to me since she noticed the boys do not sleep well (by not sleep well I mean going to bed late, up in middle of night, and up before 7:00am with very little napping. 

Upon doing MORE research and digging I began (and still in the process of) learning about RED 40 intolerance/allergy and the side effects of the dye. I couldn't believe what I was reading. On all the webpages, blogs and medical sites they all said the same thing: linked to behavior issues. I was in shock!

Who knew that feeding my kids simple, easy, kid friendly foods could cause some of the behavior issue I was dealing with. I am not going to blame it all on the dye and assume that changing their diet will "fix" anything. I do believe it is a starting point and it is a healthy one! 

Today marks the first official day both boys are beginning the RED 40 free diets. I am making a food journal for them and writing down everything they eat and when. I'm keeping the notebook in the kitchen for easy access. Whenever I fix a meal or snack I write down the time, what I prepared and after they finish I write down how much they ate. 

By taking this extra step I'm seeing exactly what they are eating and I'm also keeping myself accountable for what I fix them. Major label reading is my new future and hopefully rashes and tantrums will be our past.

Since this is the very beginning of the journey expect more posts about RED 40 and how we are dealing, if it works and the results we are finding. 

Praises to Him,
Angie K

Discipline Is Not For Sissies

I don't think I have fully introduced you to my little men. For my own reasons I've given them nicknames:

 J-Man will be four this August and LJ will be two in July. J-Man is very cautious, a picky eater, and loves all things boyish. LJ is fearless and throws caution to the wind. He eats everything in sight and is in a huge copycat stage. LJ has recently began his venture into the "terrible twos" stage. I'm not a big fan of the title "Terrible Twos". I prefer longer titles like: finding the lines to cross, discipline deserter, and "no" is not for me. 

Now, we are strong believers in disciplining our children the way God intends us to: with a loving and firm hand. If you are wondering, yes we spank our children. No, we don't automatically spank them for every behavior incident but there are times we do spank first before other consequences.

Proverbs 13:24 NIV

Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

**It breaks my heart each and every time I discipline (spank) the boys. I hurt for them and have sometimes even cried with them but I know this is what will help them become the men I know they can be.

Hebrews 12:11 NIV
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

**We as parents have the responsibility to raise our children in a world where God is barely existing in homes anymore. Our children will eventually leave home and begin their own live and families. How do I want my children to live and act when they are teenagers and then adults? I want them to have a loving relationship with us, their siblings but most importantly with God. By teaching them not only the "commands" of Christ but also to walk along side him we are giving them a wonderful gift! 

Ephesians 6:1-4 NIV Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

**We work with our children to help them make good choices as they grow. We are not a spank and be done family. We talk together, we listen together, we read the bible together, and we pray together. Even though the boys are still young we are working to give them a positive and christian start to their lives. 

Proverbs 22:6NIV
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Praises to Him,

Angie K